其实，没有几次，像那些方言什么的，我听不懂一般就选择了放弃交流，所以基本上没有弄过什么笑话。不过说起英语弄出来的笑话，倒是有那么几个。

有一年，我和同学去某个自然景点游玩。那次好像是我们第一次出去玩，所以兴奋地要死，一路上蹦蹦跳跳的，好不快活。到了爬云梯的时候，我们小心翼翼的一步一挪，突然我同学尖叫了一下，拍着我说，

“快看，老外，怎么办，怎们办？朝我们走过来了，怎么打招呼呀？”

我当时也兴奋地不行，因为我们那个小县城很难见到老外，于是，我说，

“咱们一会给他们让路吧，行吧？英语怎么说来着？快快快，想一想。”

我们在那里想了几句合适的话，本来想老外过来的时候，表现一下。结果老外走到我跟前了，我一激动，直接来了一句，

“You,go!”（当时，我想撞墙的心都有了，脸一下子就烫起来了。）

然后，老外热情的叽里呱啦说了一通，我以为人家没听懂，还做了一个“请”的手势，又说了一遍“You,go!”老外笑眯眯的过去了，说了一句“Thank you!”

额，总算来了一句听懂的，我连忙摆摆手说，“No,No,No!”然后我就看着老外笑着走开了，我当时好想撞墙，看了一下旁边一脸懵逼的同学，我更加觉得生无可恋了。紧接着，那家伙就捂着肚子笑的停不下来，我就让她安静。然后，她还特好心的说，

“没事，简单粗暴，You,go，哈哈，他应该听懂了！”

我去，扎心了，老铁，还不如不安慰我！这大概是我比较糗的一件事，回去以后，就被我同学当笑话的广为传播了。恩，最后我的结论是，英语这东西，一定要好好学习，不然也不知道会搞出多少事来！

21、 HOW ARE YOU？怎么是你？ HOW OLD ARE YOU？怎么老是你？

22、 一位中国学生在美国加州目睹了一起交通事故，由于好奇，一直没有离开，警察来了以后问他知不知道事情的经过。He said ：one car come one car go，two car peng peng， one car die。 一天小强去看电影，到了电影售票处，发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好 半天，就自告奋勇的上前做翻译，售票小姐说：麻烦你告诉她，现在坐票售完了 只剩下站票，如果要看要站着看。小强转头就对老外说：No Sit see，Stand see. If　see，stand see.老外回答说：sorry I don‘t　understand your English.小强就对售票小姐说：哦，他说他不懂英文。

23、今天早上上班赶公共汽车，到站台的时候，汽车已经启动。于是我只好边追边喊： “师傅，等等我！师傅，等等我！” 这时一乘客从车窗探出头来冲我说了句：“悟空，你就别追了。” 差点笑背过气去。

24、银行名称新解 中国建设银行 CBC (Construction Bank of China)：存不存？ 中国银行 BC （Bank of China)：不存。 中国农业银行 ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)：啊，不存？！ 中国工商银行 ICBC (Industry and Commercial Bank of China)： 爱存不存！ 还是工商大哥牛啊～～

笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术 方法 ，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是我整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!

英语笑话 一：Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmer

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下车来把......。

英语笑话三：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”

英语笑话四：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?” 老师发问道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。

英语笑话五：脑移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。

医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”

英语笑话六：最丑的孩子

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

英语笑话七：我娶了你的姐妹

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个 万圣节 夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。

"Who are you?" he asked.

“你是谁?”丈夫问到。

"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”

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